Just killing time: for The Sacred and Profane
by Merucha
Summary: Usopp and Nami get bored, so they sign up for a speed-dating course at a bar. Robin decides to step in and have fun. This is a little linked to my earlier story,Your ability, but you can read them separately. UsoNa.


**The Sacred and Profane wanted an UsoNa story, with actual romance, not just suggested romance. That's my first time, so go easy on me.**

**I'm sorry it took so long, Sacred and Profane. I got nervous ^^; But I hope you like it.**

**There will be 8probably badly written) UsoNa in there, so prepare yourself.**

_Why am I even here?_

Usopp and Nami both asked themselves that question. Here, being in a modern-looking bar lit with blacklights and fluorescent signs, sitting at a table with a complete stranger.

When you're bored, you can do all but crazy things. When you're bored out of your mind and you can't even do crazy things, you do something borderline stupid. As long as you do something.

So, Nami and Usopp signed themselves up for a speed-dating process at the nearest bar.

Now, why were they here?

For Nami, it was simple; free drinks and food. And besides, being with Usopp could be fun. He wasn't so bad of a guy.

For Usopp, it was painful but simple; he couldn't say no to Nami. Back when they were traveling to Arabasta and Nami had asked him to make a weapon, that had been the case too. She probably had no idea just how secretly joyous Usopp had been when she jokingly told him she loved him. It hurt to know she didn't mean it, though.

So, now he was here, at a bar, talking with some women he didn't know. At first he thought he'd be humiliated; after all, he isn't exactly model material. So it came as quite a shock when some of the girls actually flirted with him. Usopp made extra sure to not tell any of his *coughfakecough* tales of adventured and bravery. He knew deep down that he sounded like an idiot when he did, but hey, it was nice to entertain people like Chopper and Luffy.

"So, Usopp-kun, do you have a job?" A very nice girl with a very impressive cleavage asked Usopp.

He fumbled a bit (he wasn't good with these things, but apparently that was cute to most girls), wondering what to say. "Well, you see, I'm sort of working on a ship." he finally settled for. The girl squealed and leaned forward. "No way! What do you do, are you a marine?" Jiggle jiggle went the boobs.

"Actually, I'm more the opposite…you know?" Usopp didn't want to exclaim that he was a pirate over the entire bar. What if there were enemies here?

The girl, Mandy Usopp remembered her say, thought for a bit with a pout and a finger on her lips. Finally she seemed to grasp what he meant and gasped. "You're a pirate?" she whispered loudly. Usopp just grinned, hoping that would be answer enough. The girl squealed again, clapping her hands and squeezing her boobs together, "Usopp-kun, that's sooo amazing!"

A few tables to the right, Nami was on her own little date. Most of the guys she'd sat with were worthless, but every now and again someone decent showed up.

One thing that ruined her good times, though, were the continuous giggles coming from Usopp's dates. There would be continuous chatter and laughter from their table, and Usopp looked like he was having the time of his life…

And so what? Nami didn't care at all. No way, he could go home with any of these little vixens and she wouldn't care, not one bit.

So why did she want to tackle those girls to the ground and maul their face?

Usopp looked over to Nami's table, where she was sharing a drink with some huge, body-built stud. He was wearing at least three gold necklaces, along with about six rings and had his black hair sleeked back so that it looked like he'd pured oil on it. He would have looked okay, if it wasn't for that pretentious smile and the not-so-sneaky glances at Nami's chest area. _What a douche. _Usopp silently fumed. Who did he think he was, just glancing at Nami's body? Did he not notice the way she smiled, or the way she laughed, or how her hair-

_STOP, Usopp, stop. You were going to stop thinking like that, remember? _Usopp chastised himself. Seeing as how Nami was drop-dead gorgeous and intelligent and Usopp was just…Usopp, he had decided to stop thinking about her entirely to avoid getting too sucked into the illusion that he stood a chance. It stung, but Usopp was a pessimist, so he was used to everything sucking.

Mandy was interrupted in mid-rant about how her hair would never stay in place by the bell that signaled a switch of tables. The girls were the ones that moved, so Nami was moved closer to Usopp, who sat at the same table.

"Going ok, huh, Usopp?" Nami said in a hushed tone and winked at Usopp. "Gotten any Den-Den-Mushi numbers?"

Usopp smiled mischievously back. "Only about eight. I'll be busy tonight, huh?"

Nami would never admit it, but that hurt for some reason. Usopp wasn't supposed to be dating anyone! Why did she drag him here in the first place? Just because he was fun, and confident, and humourus, and reliable when need be….

Some guy was sitting on the opposite of Nami, as usual, and smiled his biggest smile, which was actually just a little revolting. His teeth were so white they stung Nami's eyes.

A woman sat down on the chair against Usopp. Raven black hair, trimmed in a perfect do and shimmering beautifully, sea blue eyes smiling at him.

Strangely, this beauty was Robin.

"Robin? You're here too?" Usopp asked dumbfounded.

"Robin-neesan, I didn't know you were participating!" Nami wondered why she hadn't noticed. Well, Robin was wearing a sleek black top with long black pants, so she would easily blend into the dark.

"I got a free round when I won at a bingo game, and I wasn't going to pass it up. I have had a bit too much free time." Robin answered with a smile.

"Well, this is going to be a little awkward. Me and Nami registered together so they made sure we wouldn't be together at a table." Usopp smiled apologetically. Robin was one of a kind, but she was both out of his league, a crewmate, and much older than him. Ergo, not a good date.

"Oh, I don't know about that, longnose-kun. I think this might be quite a _treat_." Robin smiled at Usopp, making sure to drag out the word treat.

Usopp didn't know how to react to that…was Robin flirting with him? What the hell? Eventually, he laughed it off as one of Robin's odd quirks. That woman was strange, sometimes.

Nami flinched and looked incredulously at Robin. Was she leading Usopp on? Why? She couldn't possible have a thing for him, could she? That's impossible!

Nami was interrupted by the bell, signaling everyone that the time was ticking. The guy on her table immediately stopped staring at Robin, obviously envying Usopp, and started talking about himself to Nami.

Usopp just casually chatted with Robin, about everything and anything, much like they'd done those few times they had conversations on the ship.

Nami wasn't having much fun, so far. Yeah, the free drinks were great, but they weren't so much free when you had to tolerate guys goggling you like Luffy goggles meat, and talking about how great they themselves were. This guy is a lost cause. Nami thought. I haven't been paying attention to anything he said, and he hasn't even noticed. Geez. Why can't all boys be more like…like…

Let's see, who would she like to be with right now? Truth was, Nami didn't know many men on a personal level, except her crewmates, and they were just as far off as this guy.

Sanji's too submissive, Zoro's too lazy, Chopper's just a kid, Franky's just _weird_, Luffy's Luffy.

Oh, but then there was Usopp. But would she really like to be with him? Sure, she'd thought about it, a _lot, _and quite liked the idea, but…

Nami got her answer when the bell chimed once again, signaling for everyone that the event was over.

Most people shook hands and got up, but Robin leaned seductively in, coming very close to Usopp.

"Don't I get a goodbye-kiss, Longnose-kun…?"

Nami froze, not even noticing how flustered Usopp was. _Robin? What are you doing? You can't have him, he's…he's…._

Nami stormed over to their table, pulling Robin away from Usopp, who was confused to a dangerous level.

_He's sweet, and funny, he is Usopp and he is __**mine**__!_

Nami yanked on Usopp's overalls, causing him to stutter and instinctively shrink away. In Usopp's vision, Robin was picking on him for some reason unbeknownst to him, maybe she was just bored, and Nami had suddenly gotten furious with him. Still, it wasn't just anger that he saw in her face… her face that was getting really close…

Robin giggles when Nami's lips finally connected with Usopp's, who's eyes were as wide as dinner plates. She'd always known Nami had a thing for him, Nami just wouldn't acknowledge it. And after Zoro took action in getting those two closer, Robin just decided to follow suit, only to a but more extreme level.

Nami finally broke the kiss, shocked at what she'd just done. Usopp seemed even more shocked, though. She'd never seen his eyes _this _big.

And Robin…was giggling in the corner. She'd planned for it all along! That witch!

Now Nami was going to be let down, and everything would be awkward, and Sanji'd probably commit suicide or something!

Nami started to storm away, planning on drowning herself or crawling into a hole and dying, but was stopped by Usopp taking her arm.

"Oi, Nami, don't just run off!"

"Then what do you propose I do?" Nami turned to Usopp, who had a pretty steely grip on her arm, for someone so lanky. "Just stand here and let you shoot me down while Robin laughs? I do not intend to-!"

Usopp silenced her with another kiss. After a brief moment of hesitation, Nami returned it, paying no heed to Robin who was sneaking her way outside. After all, she was busy hearing bells chime and doves cooing in her ear.

"I believe my work is done." Robin said, and smiled at the two lovebirds that were making quite a show for the remaining customers. The bartender was tearing up, talking about young love and the wonders of the world.

Nami and Usopp ignored him, much too busy paying attention to each other.

*~~*3*~~*

"YOU'RE WHAT NOW?"

Usopp suppressed a squeak in front of a very, very fuming Sanji. Usopp thought he'd be setting himself on fire again soon, if someone didn't cool him down.

"Shut the hell up, curly-brow, he's not finished!" Zoro yelled at Sanji, while Franky held him down. Robin was smiling mysteriously, Chopper had star in his eyes, and Luffy was laughing.

"Er, me and Nami are together, now. It happened just last night and Franky please don't let go I don't want to die now."

"Really?" Chopper exclaimed, ignoring Usopp's obvious fear of being filleted and served to the sharks. At least they'd get a nice meal.

."I knew this had to happen! I've been anticipating it for months!"

Nami smiled and linked arms with Usopp, who still had a look of disbelief on his face. Turns out, Nami later heard, that he'd had his eye on her for a long time now.

Zoro sneakily gave Usopp a thumbs up, to which Usopp nervously smiled and mouthed thanks.

Sanji was in emo-corner, holding his knees and rocking back and forth.

"Outstaged by Longnose… why me….?"

"Oi, I'm right here!" Usopp shouted at him.

Nami laughed and hugged Usopp form behind. "Don't mind him, Usopp. You'll just have t go a few days without food, but I can share mine with you. He won't say no to my seductive charms~" she winked and stuck her tongue out. Usopp laughed with her, still amazed by how bright life suddenly seemed and though: _Who ever could?_

Franky walked over to Robin, now that Sanji wasn't a threat for a little while.

"Robin-sis, you were planning this all along?" he asked when no one else heard. Robin nodded at him, smiling as much as Robin does.

"Someone had to push them those final steps. I don't think romance on a ship is a bad thing, do you?"

Robin winked discreetly and walked away before the flustered and blushing Franky could answer.

Now she just needed something else to occupy her time.

She had a pretty good idea.

**I couldn't resist sneaking some Franky/Robin in there. They are so CANON. When I clear Water 7 arc, I'll definitely write something FraRo.**

**I hope you liked it, The Sacred and Profane! Please keep in mind I'm not used to romance.**

**How was it for a first time?**


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